Pregnant after infertility, IVF or miscarriage - How to stay calm

You are pregnant after infertility, IVF or miscarriage - congratulations.

So is pregnancy following infertility the same as it is if you conceived easily?

For some perhaps but I think for the majority of us that have been through years of investigations, treatment cycles and perhaps miscarriages, pregnancy can bring with it it’s own set of challenges.

Yes you have reached your much longed for goal but may feel more anxious about pregnancy than if you conceived straight away and have more fears regarding loosing the pregnancy.

BFP or BFF

So many of you share that getting that BFP (Big Fat Positive pregnancy test result in forum lingo) does not wipe out all of the months/years of worry and upset. In fact many of you now feel that you have entered the phase of BFF instead - Big Fat Fears! It is completely normal to feel anxious, surreal and concerned about getting to the 12 week mark. Your job now is to just take one day at a time and stay as mindful as you can/distract yourself as much as you can.

Get the support you need

The first few weeks of pregnancy can be the most difficult when you may not feel comfortable sharing your news with family and friends but need support and advice. Even if you do decide to share it can be difficult for someone to understand why you are not completely overjoyed and this can lead to feeling guilty that you are not dancing in the streets. If you are pregnant following infertility, IVF or miscarriage I invite you to come and share with me on Instagram. I will understand. You might be feeling wonderful and just want to share your good news rather than needing support that is fine too!  

Early Pregnancy Support Pack

"The early pregnancy support package has been a huge support for me as I navigate through both fearful emotions and joyful emotions in early stages of pregnancy.

I listen to the visualizations for pregnancy mp3 every night falling asleep in bed and to the affirmations for pregnancy mp3 every morning on my drive to work.

The recordings have helped to keep me calm, in the present moment, and have helped reshape my thinking/self talk to be a much more positive mindset. I would highly recommended!" - Katie

I have created this early pregnancy support pack to support you right from the very start of your pregnancy, from test day throughout your pregnancy. Including powerful visualisations written to support your mind and body during your pregnancy, my top relaxation tracks and an EFT Tapping round written specifically for pregnancy following infertility, IVF or miscarriage.  

7 Beautiful Mind-Body Tools For You

 After previous miscarriages, I've been a nervous wreck during pregnancy. These pregnancy support meditations and visualisations really help me calm down and focus. The pregnancy affirmations are a must during those first few weeks.” - Beth. 

1. Visualisation and hypnosis for pregnancy 

A powerful hypnosis and visualisation for pregnancy MP3 in which I guide you into relaxation and invite you to connect with your baby and visualise yourself with a bump and then holding your baby for the first time. I’ve also packed the MP3 with suggestions about allowing yourself to let go and trust that your body knows how to nourish and nurture your baby. I end the MP3 by guiding you to enter deep restorative sleep. 20 min MP3.

2. Affirmations for pregnancy

These are also fantastic to listen to right from early pregnancy as I have included a lot about trusting in your body. 5 min MP3.

3. Hypnosis for coping with morning sickness

It may surprise you to learn that many women do not experience nausea in pregnancy and studies have shown that certain variables including how much emotional support you have has a clear influence on if you are affected. Stress in particular has been shown to increase the chance of experiencing it due to the increase in cortisol, your stress hormone, leading to highs and lows in blood sugar levels. Therefore we can utilise hypnosis to guide you into a deeply relaxed state, counterbalancing stress and cortisol and replacing with feel good endorphins which will also be enjoyed by your baby. 12 min MP3.

4. Coping and Comfort 

A hypnosis MP3 that incorporates simple techniques that you can use on a daily basis to bring your body out of stress and into rest and relaxation. This track is suitable at any time you want to bring more balance to your life and allow your body to relax deeply. Also perfect if you’re feeling overwhelmed, anxious or upset. I will guide you through four techniques within the recording, three of which incorporate holding acupressure points that bring comfort to the body and one that can be used to ease physical discomfort as well as emotional upset. This is a simple trick we can play on the mind to instruct it to relax and unwind. Includes my self soothers guidance video, which demonstrates the techniques used in the MP3s and can be used as stand-alone techniques whenever you feel out of balance. 26 min MP3

5. ‘Self Soothers’ techniques

Acupressure techniques to accompany the track above, to guide your body out of stress response and into relaxation. These points can be used alongside the hypnosis or on their own throughout the day to allow you to feel calm and confident no matter what is going on around you. 7 min video.

6. Supercharge Your Sleep

We all know that lack of sleep is hugely detrimental, not just to our health but to our quality of life. Early pregnancy can be a time where our sleep is impacted. So what if I told you that in just 15 minutes you can achieve the equivalent of a full hours deep sleep? Interested? I know I was when I first heard about this technique. Gwyneth Paltrow is a fan and does this before bed to aid a good night’s sleep (1) and the US Army is employing it to help soldiers recover from post traumatic stress disorder(2). I’ll quit teasing you now I’m talking about Yoga Nidra. Sometimes described as yogic sleep or conscious sleep. You may even have practised it at the end of a yoga class. That bit at the end where you lie down and have a mini nap. 15 min MP3.

7. How to stay calm when pregnant following infertility, IVF or miscarriage

A simple but powerful energy tool for bringing calm and peace. 12 min EFT Tapping Video and 20 minute tutorial video.

Early Pregnancy Support Pack £32

Your Pregnancy Haven Support Community

Pregnancy after infertility and/or loss can be filled with a lot of conflicting emotions.  It’s excitement and joy, but also fear and guilt.

If you’re familiar with this, I want you to know that there is a place for you to go and feel supported, empowered, and find comfort that you’re not alone. 

Your Pregnancy Haven is a support community for women who are finally pregnant after infertility and/or loss.  It was created by my friend and fellow colleague, Jennifer Robertson. I am one of the expert contributors and am an affiliate for the Pregnancy Haven so if you sign up then please do so via this link Naomi's link to Pregnancy Haven.

Your Pregnancy Haven was inspired by Jen's own struggles throughout pregnancy after 7-years of infertility and losses which included 9 IVF cycles, 2 miscarriages, a baby via surrogacy, and a baby naturally at the age of 39. 

So, if you’re currently pregnant (or when you become pregnant) and are looking for a space to feel – 

• Peace from the constant anxiety, so you can enjoy your pregnancy
• Relief and comfort that everything you are feeling right now is normal 
• Supported and heard, by those who know exactly what you’re going through
• Excited and ready to start sharing your pregnancy with genuine happiness and hope

Then look no further.  Your Pregnancy Haven provides; weekly LIVE group coaching, a supportive community chat, weekly inspiration and motivation, all the information you’ll need throughout your pregnancy from qualified experts, and a library of resources to help you reduce your anxiety and find some peace in your pregnancy.

All you have to do is click the link Naomi's link to Pregnancy Haven to find out more and get the relief and support you deserve. 

One to one Therapy

As a Cognitive Hypnotherapist I can offer personalised sessions to support you with any issue. I have worked individually with pregnant clients to resolve anxiety, give relief from morning sickness, overcome phobias of childbirth and hospitals and help women prepare for a caesarean section.

I see the majority of my clients on Zoom and can usually schedule an emergency last-minute session for example if you find out you need to be induced and want some support in preparing.

Cognitive hypnotherapy integrates cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), evolutionary and positive psychology, emotional freedom techniques (EFT), hypnosis and neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) to create a fast and effective way of creating lasting change. I also bring in mindfulness and coaching if appropriate. Each session will be specifically tailored to you. Sessions last 90 minutes. The number of sessions we have will depend on what outcome you desire.

“I had just found out that I was pregnant and was feeling very anxious about miscarrying as I had with my last pregnancy. I was also worried about possible morning sickness symptoms. I decided to book a session with Naomi as I had really enjoyed the Embrace course and particularly enjoyed Naomi’s weekly videos. She has a lovely natural style, like you are chatting to your best friend. I also like the humour she brings to an often upsetting situation. Booking a personal session felt like a good thing to do to help me cope. I found the session really relaxed and informal, but I felt like I got a lot out of it. The guided hypnosis was really good, I love how Naomi included my husband and family into the visualisation. It made it all more real to me and to have this as a personal MP3 to use again afterwards is wonderful. I love it. Following the session I feel more relaxed about the pregnancy and feel like I can get excited even though things could still possibly go wrong. I felt and still feel like I will be able to cope whatever happens. I would definitely recommend a pregnancy support session to others and would look to do another session. Maybe nearer the end of my pregnancy, to cope with the anxiety of impending labour and motherhood.” - Amy

Read more about the pregnancy support I offer.