A poem for everyone trying to conceive this Christmas. To be read in the rhythm of T’was the night before Christmas.
T’was the week before Christmas
T’was the week before Christmas and my thoughts turn to babies
At what point in my life did that change from Baileys?
I’ve been tracking ovulation each month with care
In the hope that our timing will bring fruit to bear.
I want a baby nestled all snug in my belly
Visions of motherhood turn me to jelly.
Another year goes by showing one line not two
My strength is waning I’m feeling so blue.
While others enthuse of presents and snow
I’m left feeling empty and ever so low.
It’s all about the children they say of this season
But where are mine? They have given me no reason.
Unexplained infertility stings like a burn
We are left without answers we are trying to learn.
Each year I say the next will be different
A positive result by next Christmas would be sufficient.
I’m determined to celebrate and hold onto hope
But I’m finding it hard and I’m struggling to cope.
We kept it a secret and didn’t want to share
Now we have told people and they really care.
Christmas can be a time full of magic
But for many this season can feel pretty tragic.
All of our joy can be pumped up and enhanced
But our pain can be stronger and we can feel entranced.
Attacked by our thoughts and worries each day
Here is a trick to dispense them – just say
“Now worry, now sadness, now grief and despair
I hear you, I feel you, I’m fully aware.
I choose now to release you one thought at a time.”
And out of the darkness I begin to climb.
For our thoughts are not facts, I know it’s hard to believe
But once you start practising the quicker you get the negative to leave.
Ask yourself “Is this thought and thinking the truth?”
Really question the evidence like the best kind of sleuth!
The freedom this gives is outstanding you see
You have just learnt the way to be emotionally free.
Your thoughts are yours to do with as you choose
Why hold on to the ones that hurt you and bruise?
New strength can be found if you slow down and listen
Perhaps Christmas might feel different and even start to glisten.
So I hope that this poem has offered new insight
Happy Christmas to all and to all a good night. xxxx
Originally posted in 2014.
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Does the poem resonate with you? What are you doing to cope this Christmas? Come and join us in the Embrace Fertility support community to join in the conversation.