I have just read “The pursuit of motherhood” in under 24 hours, I could not put it down. It felt like having a long intimate conversation with the author or having stumbled across her diary and once you join her on the roller coaster ride of trying, and failing, to start a family, you are desperate to see if there is a happy ending. I held my breath at each pregnancy test and cried for the first time in awhile. I cried for Jessica, for myself (I’m six weeks post failed IVF) for a friend who let me know today that her IVF has ended in a negative result and for all of us experiencing the devastation that is infertility. Many excerpts from this book will stay with me but the following resonate so deeply I thought I would share them with you:
One of the hardest things about starting fertility treatment is facing off the enduring opinion that human beings should never meddle with what nature decides.
no…but I do have some news…’ She’s hesitant, and I feel a familiar crumpling in my chest as I realise what she’s about to say. Why isn’t there a word in the English language for feeling happy for someone and sad for yourself at the same time?
I long to experience the excitement of the family going to buy the tree and decorating it to the sound of cheesy Christmas classics. This year we’ve decided to go away. Somewhere hot. Somewhere we’re not reminded of the family we haven’t got.
This book is heartbreaking, informative, inspiring and funny! An excellent read for anyone experiencing infertility or for anyone who wants to understand a little of what it is like. (Possibly hand out to friends and family if it’s too difficult to find the words yourself.)
Hepburn has noted how she wishes she had reached out and asked for more support earlier in her journey, that the secrecy and shame of hiding infertility added to the strain. I agree, for two years I told only my closest friends and felt so alienated from those having babies. I am now an Infertility Network UK volunteer and run an online support group. Realising that you are in no way alone on this journey and being able to talk openly with others going through the same is at once liberating and healing.
To read Jessica’s blog or buy her book visit www.thepursuitofmotherhood.com