I’ve talked in the past about how some fertility programs/practitioners promise that if you visualise yourself pregnant, chant affirmations daily and really really believe then you will get your baby! I tried this approach while trying to conceive and ended up going slightly bonkers. I started berating myself for the fact I was still not getting pregnant, obviously I was not being positive enough and the feeling that I was to blame for not being able to conceive was overwhelming.
I felt much happier with a series on hypnosis MP3s that supported me during IVF, inviting me to imagine my body responding perfectly at each stage. On my second round of IVF I did fall pregnant so in my case those MP3s have a 50% success rate! Sadly I miscarried at 8 weeks but fell pregnant naturally four months later which coincided with when I was writing my natural cycle hypnosis MP3s! I have created two hypnosis packages specifically for Embrace Fertility followers one to support your natural cycle and one to support an IVF cycle. Both are very much in keeping with mindfulness and focus on allowing you to reach a place of deep relaxation and acceptance rather than demanding that you fall pregnant immediately. They include visualising the outcomes you desire at each stage of your cycle and invite you to connect with your baby. Click here to visit store.
I do love affirmations though and you can be a lot more inventive than walking around muttering “I am pregnant” which for most people while trying to conceive just makes you feel like s**t! The word affirmation comes from the Latin affirmare, originally meaning “to make steady, strengthen” and that is what we want to do – steady and strengthen our self talk. Throughout my 4 and 10 week fertility support online courses we use affirmations to give ourselves a positive focus and intention. The first week’s affirmation is “I am ready and willing to change.” (To take the foundation course in which I talk more about the power of our thoughts sign up now for FREE.)
An affirmation is simply a phrase we would like to be true that we repeat to ourselves. The things we say to ourselves have a major impact on how we feel and this goes for how you use affirmations too. We talk to ourselves all day long and if we are saying things like “I can’t cope with this situation” or “What if something goes wrong?” then we make ourselves feel scared and disempowered.
When I started learning more about the power of the mind I understood that the words are only one tiny part of the power of affirmations. You could dance around saying:
“I am a blue tree with pink leaves and orange apples!”
And if that makes you feel bad then why are you doing it? But if it makes you feel good then why not! The whole point of an affirmation is to make you feel inspired, empowered and joyous.
Affirmations are a way to focus on what we want and to tune in to how we imagine we will feel when we receive/achieve our goals. They are a great way to busy your mind instead of allowing negative affirmations to take over which our minds can be in the habit of doing. Over time affirmations can help to rewire your thinking. The most powerful for me is the one that we use as part of emotional freedom technique:
“I deeply and completely love and accept myself exactly as I am in this moment.”
It took me months to build up to saying this starting off with:
“Right now I’m ok.”
Which was hard enough when suffering from anxiety and really despising my body. Now I am so used to saying this affirmation that it feels like part of me. I still need to work on completely loving and accepting myself no matter what but at least this phrase is part of my internal dialogues now rather than all the horrible things I used to say to myself.
Why not try these out:
“I breathe deeply and calmly.”
“I release all tension, stress and fear and connect deeply with my true self.”
“I accept each moment for what it is.”
“I adapt easily to changing situations.”
Focus on how each of them makes you feel and if they do not make you feel inspired, empowered and joyous then write your own on post-its and stick around your home. I stick inspiring affirmations on the kitchen cabinet above the kettle so while I’m waiting for it to boil I am reminded of them. Other nice places can be the bathroom mirror, inside your diary/workplanner, if you still have paper versions. If you want to get really fancy you could set it up as your phone or PC screen saver.
A fantastic tip if you are feeling nervous, be that during your two week waits or once you’re pregnant, is to stop saying please and start saying thank you!
If you find yourself begging, saying to yourself “Please, please let me be/stay pregnant” then it you are sending out a really desperate energy and it adds to your nerves making you feel on edge and unfocused. If you say “Thank you” as if it has already been decided that you will be a mum someday/somehow then your energy feels completely different. I’ve been doing this all the way the my pregnancy whenever I noticed myself saying ‘please let everything be okay’ (especially around the time I lost our first baby) I remind myself to say thank you as if it has already been decided that it will be. This is a really empowering technique.
Note that it is possible to get yourself into a headspace where you can feel okay with not being pregnant RIGHT NOW. I reached this place and although I still wanted it to happen as soon as possible for the first time in years I felt like my world wouldn’t end if it wasn’t this month and BOOM first natural pregnancy in almost 4 years! I know there will be some people reading this who will be shouting at their computers as I know how bloody annoying it is to be told that you need to stop desperately wanting something in order for it to happen but as more and more Embrace Fertility members tell me they are pregnant a pattern does seem to be emerging. Get yourself happy and you are more likely to get pregnant. It’s not a guarantee by any means but who the hell does not want to be happier? Set the intention right now to do at least one thing every day to bring more joy into your life.
I’ve written and recorded an MP3 of affirmations for pregnancy. You can use these while you are trying to conceive (but ONLY if they make you feel empowered – I would just use affirmations when it felt good) these are also fantastic to listen to once you are pregnant as I have included a lot about trusting in your body which if you conceive following infertility can be really difficult.
I’ve paired the affirmations with a 20 minute hypnosis and visualisation for pregnancy MP3 in which I guide you into relaxation and invite you to connect with your baby (future or present) and visualise yourself with a bump and then holding your baby for the first time. I’ve also packed the MP3 with suggestions about allowing yourself to let go and trust that your body knows how to nourish and nurture your baby. I end the MP3 by guiding you to enter deep restorative sleep. Again this track is suitable whilst you are trying to conceive and once pregnant. I decided to include the photograph of me pregnant and meditating in the woods near my house as this is a visualisation I did frequently while TTC and is now a reality. View MP3 pack now.
I suggest teaming the above with my Coping and Comfort MP3 which comes with my ‘Self Soothers’ video of acupressure techniques to guide your body out of stress response and into relaxation. These points can be used alongside the hypnosis or on their own throughout the day to allow you to feel calm and confident no matter what is going on around you. (The Coping and Comfort MP3 is also part of the Natural Cycle and IVF Cycle packages.)
Lastly I have made a hypnosis for coping with morning sickness MP3. I suffered from extreme dizziness during my first trimester and after listening to a hypnosis track for four days the dizziness ceased and I went to my entire pregnancy only being sick twice (and both times was due to the fact I was not listening to my body and overate!)
Do you find visualisations and affirmations for pregnancy useful? I would love to hear from you, leave a comment below or come and join the conversation within our fertility support community.
I have created a FREE Fertility Support Pack to get you started with the mindbody techniques I share. It includes an hour-long introduction to mindfulness, a 20 minute emotional freedom technique video tutorial, a 5 minute meditation and an e-book that includes 10 easy ways to bring mindfulness into your day. For your free pack sign-up
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